We met with our faculty contact today and explained our case. The landlord agreed this place was filthy when we arrived and it would be cleaned today. (They did clean, but I still fear I will die from some mold disease from the fridge. Most of it gone but I fear the spores will come back and kill us all). I even started to cry silently in the office because I thought of everything that we are trying to deal with- like the fact that we couldn't find our contact on Tuesday because got sent to the wrong office. An empty office. Then we found it today because someone showed us through some unmarked doors, which apparently lead to the student center. Do I know anything about where my money is? Oh no, but I'm just supposed to wait until next week during orientation to find out which will be a complete clusterfuck of all the international students. Not to mention, we arrive late because we are coming from class.
Anyways, yeah we are fucked and can't do anything to get out of the contract. Unless someone dies or we get really sick. (Did I tell you this place used to a medical center. I feel like Girl Interrupted. There in my single hospital bed and there are my nice white walls). So yeah here I am. I am thankfully they finally cleaned, though it should not have taken me threatening them for it to happen. I will keep on them something fierce about everything else that needs to be fixed. I will complain so much that they will hate me and want me to leave. I could deal with the mess a whole lot better if I knew my mail was secure ( I could steal all the mail right now, set it on fire, and never get caught) and that the showers worked.
This is a matter of principles. I am paying very high rent to live in a furnished place so I don't have to find my own place, furnish it, etc. But here I am having to clean what should have done before I moved here, buying items because the current ones are unusable, having to rent a p.o. box etc. I wish they would at least just lower my rent.
I'm really sorry being so negative and depressing sounding. I am very thankful to be here and I know that I am blessed, but I am struggling very much right now. Housing issues/lack of finding answers etc/not knowing where my money is/etc takes a toll on the soul. I've struggled with serve depression before and it's very scary when you start to recognize particular traits or thinking patterns from those past times. This is not some spiritual issue or anything like that. So anything in that direction is not the answer for me. I will make it this year. Mountain Goats, guide me. In a few months, I'm sure I will be sounding much different in a few months and I will back on this...Still be pissed but okay with it. Please bear me with me. Thanks
jendalynn
2 comments:
hey parsh, i'm sorry to hear about your troubles. that transition time is always so hard--magnified 10 times when you're far away in a new place. i know it sucks. hang in there, think of our good times in kindergarten. --jens
The first month is the worst. Just keep repeating that....
That's when you adjust to soooo many things. I have to warn you, the university structure over there is.... well.... slow. So hang in there!
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